Questions?
What can we do to prepare before we start couples therapy?
Couples who read Terrence Real’s book US: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship, see more positive outcomes and impact of the work we do together.
Also, couples who start by attending one of my bi-yearly Relationship Skills Bootcamps also see the couples work go deeper and provide faster results.
Do we start with a joint session or meeting with us individually?
In the beginning, I usually meet with both of you together for the first few sessions (typically 3–5). After that, I may suggest — or you’re welcome to ask for — a one-on-one session with each of you.
These individual meetings give space to share things that might feel easier to explore privately, and they’re confidential between me and each of you.
It’s important to know that these sessions aren’t meant to take the place of your own individual therapy, if you’re doing that separately.
If one of you feels uncomfortable with meeting me individually, we will explore that further and make sure both of you agree to the one-to-one option before booking those separate sessions.
How many sessions do you recommend?
It really depends on what each couple is coming in with — every relationship has its own pace and goals. Most couples work with me for anywhere between 5 and 20 sessions.
Many couples report feeling the positive impact of this work and the Relational Life Therapy approach within the first 6 sessions. From there, we can decide together what level of support feels most helpful for you both.
How long are your sessions?
The first session is 2 hours in length. Most couples prefer to keep the 2 hour structure for the first 3 sessions or permanently. We can get more done with that extended length of time.
I offer 90 minute couple sessions after the first 2 sessions.
I do not offer 60-minute sessions for couples work.
How do you balance safety when being direct with your feedback for us?
Before offering feedback, I go over my Pass Rule: You can pass on anything I suggest or ask you to do in session. In Relational Life Therapy, we work on responding from a Wise Adult mindset rather than our automatic, protective reactions.
I’ll always ask before sharing my thoughts, and I do my best to keep feedback balanced between both partners.
At times, one partner may be showing up in a way that feels less relational, and in those moments my feedback might be more focused on that person.
You’re always welcome to share your perspective or push back on anything I say — feedback is part of a collaborative process, not a one-way conversation.
Do you give homework or practice between sessions?
Yes — I often send audio notes and worksheets to help you practice new skills and concepts between sessions.
Our time together is experiential, educational, and collaborative, with space to reflect on your part in the relationship dynamic.
The real growth happens when you take what we explore together and bring it into your daily lives. Couples who actively engage with the work outside of our sessions tend to see deeper, more lasting change.
These tools are designed to help you notice patterns, try new ways of relating, and keep the conversation going after we’ve met. I will help you both make a plan and create a structure to do home practices outside of session.
Can online couples therapy work as well as in-person sessions?
Yes — online couples therapy can be very effective, especially when meeting in person isn’t possible. Here are a few things to consider:
Body language and cues: Some facial or physical signals can be harder for a therapist to pick up on through a screen. In-person sessions make it easier to notice those subtle reactions.
Technology matters: Good audio and camera setup help a lot. I recommend sitting together in front of a computer at eye level and using an external microphone or speaker if possible.
Convenience: Meeting online can make it easier to fit therapy into busy schedules — no commute, no parking, no stress.
Environment: Being at home is comfortable, but it can also bring distractions like deliveries or kids. In-person sessions help couples step out of daily routines and focus solely on each other.
In-person advantages: My office setup allows for certain body-oriented or experiential exercises that aren’t easily replicated online, such as movement or proximity work.
Both formats can be powerful — it’s all about what helps you both feel most present and supported.
What if one of us is more logical and the other more emotional?
It’s common for partners to process differently — one may think things through more slowly or logically, while the other processes emotionally and quickly. Both approaches are valid and have upsides and downsides at times.
ACCEPTING your differences is important in our work. If we are insisting on the other person being more like us, we will create a space of distrust and control. Instead, I will help each of you get curious about how each of you developed your particular style and hopefully, create some empathy and understanding in the process. Over time, this fosters understanding, patience, and deeper connection.
How will we know if things are moving in a positive direction?
In Relational Life Therapy, we focus on softening the negative cycles between you and increasing awareness of the patterns each of you brings into the relationship. These patterns often began as ways to protect yourself in childhood — during moments when you may have felt unseen, vulnerable, or overwhelmed.
As you both begin to recognize and take responsibility for your part in the dynamic, something powerful starts to happen. With empathy and curiosity, you can begin to see not only your own protective moves but also the tenderness and longing underneath them. When each of you offers understanding and compassion — both for yourself and for your partner — you start to create a more loving, balanced, and emotionally safe connection.
This process takes courage and patience, but over time, couples often describe feeling more hope, teamwork, and genuine closeness as they grow together.
How does your Waitlist work?
My waitlist varies throughout the year — at times, the wait may be about a month, and at others, up to four months.
Because scheduling is an important part of determining fit, I ask couples to schedule 4–6 sessions with me within a 60-day period.
This helps ensure your spot is reserved and allows me to accurately determine whether I have ongoing availability based on our mutual schedules.