Fellas, you can open your heart and still be a man.
Since this is my first blog you need to know a little about me:
I’m not a mamsy-pamsy guy (you all know who I’m talking about). And I don’t come from the abusive, I’m right and you’re wrong world either.
I’ve run my own successful commercial construction company for over three decades and am highly engaged in the world of action, doing, and getting it done.
Having now embraced the sweetness of a connected relationship, I have not lost a bit of my masculine self, nor have I turned into a mamsy-pamsy who is a push over. In fact my dear love Celeste has said to me more than once ‘you could be a push over except you’re so fierce’ (a push over because my heart is so open to her and I am so willing to love–most of the time). (more…)
It’s all in the Delivery
Remember the phrase “Kill ’em with kindness?”
How many times do you remember (recently) practicing kindness with your partner?
When you ask for what you need (or give feedback) in a soft and calm voice, your partner is more likely to listen, and yes, even give you what you need. Conversely, when you are terse and demanding, you usually get the very same response mirrored back.
Lately I’ve been asking couples (and myself of course) to take an extra moment to respond to their partner rather than react to their partner. When we are reacting, we have barely taken a breath to think for a moment of why something has triggered us.
When we are responding to our partner, we literally pause (like a comma), take a breath and are then able to come from a softer place both verbally and physically. (more…)